Hobbies

“I may have covered this before but it bears repeating, you need to find a hobby. Life gets so boring when there are no jobs coming in and you will go stir crazy just sitting around and there is only so many times you can go to a café before the waiters start to recognize you.”

The smoke alarm informed John of the status of Prometheus’s latest attempt at baking. John grabbed the fire suppressor that he had mounted after Prometheus had started a kitchen fire while trying to make a soufflé.

“What happened?” John asked as the gel sealed off the oven.

“I forgot I had a golf game to get to so I thought I could make it faster by turning up the heat.” Prometheus said innocently.

“Not how it works.” John sighed and hit the intercom “Prometheus broke my oven, again. Who wants to come fix it?” One of the tenants said that they would and John turned back to Prometheus. “What’s this about a golf game?”

“Monthly game with the other CEOs. I’m going to be introducing my successor to them.”

He tried to protest but couldn’t find a good reason to deny him when John said he was coming with. When they got to the course there was a middle-aged man in a suit waiting for them. He introduced himself as the new CEO and said that the others had already arrived and were waiting at the bar. “John, good to see you. I think you just gave my security detail an aneurysm.” A burly man, the head of Finger of God Weaponry, greeted him as he approached. He was probably right about the whole aneurysm thing. Most security chiefs would have heard the rumors about him, and while the smarter ones wouldn’t think that he was unstoppable they would all see that he would be a big security risk.

But that was before he retired “I’m retired now. He doesn’t have to worry so much.” John chuckled and lifted his bag “Besides I came to golf and, unless something has changed, murdering your fellow players is frowned on.”

“I didn’t know you played.”

“Thought you guys knew, I worked at one of these places when I was fourteen. That was how I found out about the whole free agent thing, some mids were talking about how they really hated this one guy they worked with. They jokingly said that they would pay for him to be killed.” The other CEOs picked up their bags and started walking to the course with him “ I got them to agree on a figure and the next day the target came in I slipped the bartender a hundred and the target kept getting drinks bought for him by rather attractive women who had conveniently gotten shy and left. I coated the heads of his clubs with a little bit of glue so that his shots would get messed up. By the time, we reached the fifth hole he was enraged at his bad luck. He blamed me and sent me back, even called in to request a new caddie. When he reached into the pocket on his bag he found a very deadly scorpion that my roommate had found in our sink a few days before. I wanted it dead and he wanted to keep it so we were still arguing about it at the time. The scorpion stung him and wondered off to one of the sand traps but my job was done. He died before the ambulance could get to him.” John dropped his ball onto the tee and sent it flying to the hole “I made more with that than I would have made in a year at that place.”

Oni, the owner of Hades Inc., was the next to hit and commented as he dropped his ball into place “I forgot how freaking scary you were before the operation.” His ball soared towards the hole and he stepped back so Maze, the CEO of Finger of God Weaponry, could go.

“I’d argue that he is even more scary now.” He said as he dropped his ball into place. “After all the only thing, the operation did was make it so that he could be more direct.” He hit the ball off into the distance and put it past where he wanted to. He cursed and stepped aside so Prometheus could take a swing.

“Whatever became of the people who hired you?” Prometheus asked as he set up.

John waited for him to hit before answering “They tried to blackmail me immediately after the operation. They wanted me to assist their rise to the top and liked what my former team had done at Prometheus Inc. I vented my frustrations about being put in this body on them.” They finished up the hole while John thought about it “I think that was when that rumor about the serial killer started up.”

“Shit, those were my guys.” Maze cursed. “I thought it was in-fighting among my executives. That was pretty gruesome, are you sure the operation didn’t mess with your brain.”

John looked at him like his question was silly “You know I was in the Chicago War right.” The all took a moment and bowed their heads in memoriam. “Anyway, the stuff I did is why the treaty had all those stipulations on purge jobs.”

Oni asked a very pointed question “What side were you on in the war?”

Prometheus answer before John could “Ours.” He said simply as he teed up for the next hole. “My predecessor wanted to keep the sides fighting to drive up sales. It worked but it also cost us almost every good team we worked with.” The other two were shocked by the admission. If the old CEO had been found out he would have been killed. But then, they thought to themselves, maybe he was.

The game continued like that until they had played every hole. Oni ended up losing and so had to buy them all drinks but it was a close game between him and Prometheus. The new Prometheus CEO followed along quietly until the very end. Once they were done and heading to the bar the kid thanked them for taking him out and left. “Me and Oni here were talking before you guys arrived.” Maze started as they sat down for drinks “With both of you leaving we figured it might be time for a “changing of the guard” so to speak. We figure our subordinates are going to try to kill us soon enough and seize power for themselves.”

Before he could continue Prometheus interrupted “Retire and make set it up so that the next person who sits in your chair dies. It will send the message that you are watching and you get to retire without dying.” Both men considered what he had said and finished their drinks.

All four men were bidding each other farewell when the gunmen walked up to them. He thought he had gotten the drop on them and if any of them had been as slow as a normal human he would have been correct. His backup watched as the hapless would-be assassin got sent flying from the force of the four blows. They saw him crash into a wall with a sickening crunch. They didn’t see the cadre of heavily armed guards move in behind them and put very large guns against the backs of their heads.

Prometheus was the first to say it. “That makes thirty-two for me.”

“Forty” Oni replied.

Maze laughed and thought about it. “Twenty-Four I think, but I don’t count one of them because it was a set of twins.”

“Two.” They all looked a John dumbfounded. “I wasn’t a huge target and I knew most of the people who would have been hired.”

The four men laughed at that and said goodbye. Each would get back to their residences and think about the afternoon and all of them would come to the same conclusion, that was fun.

“Try to pick a hobby you can do with friends that know what you do.”

Liked it? Take a second to support me on Patreon

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *